The path of each man comes, sooner or later "in the middle of the journey of our life," understood as a situation of "mediocrity", which has lost the initial enthusiasm, and even some reality dear to us: and so, despite training years and choices undertaken with conviction despite a long time, we are/there is surprisingly tired and disheartened. The crisis involves men and women of all affiliations: religious, married / and unmarried, and has repercussions in the professional, apostolic, relational sphere, cracking, sometimes to break up, life choices that are believed now safe and sheltered from dangers.
   The crisis can be represented as the coming of the Son of man, that comes when you are least expecting, perhaps when you shout from the rooftops "peace and security" (1 Thessalonians 5.3). It's the moment you can even leave the choice made, a gesture that in some cases appears to be a "bolt from the blue" for religious brothers or family members who never would have expected such a turn.
Sometimes you think that it is easy to believe, that it is spontaneous carry on and go on a spiritual and consecrated way, seeking God's will. We recognize the importance of "lifelong learning", although for the most part reduced to a few withdrawals, in courses taken occasionally, in one or more meetings to share. But in fact, it is hoped that the passage of time will solve every problem.

   The Bible presents a very different perspective.

   The crisis is an important moment, which is expected in an alert: it requires to make a quantum leap in the motivations of life, with a long and tortuous journey. Someone we observe that the spiritual life has a configuration similar to that of the Jordan River, which employs nearly 300 km to cover 100, a path of broad digressions on the right and left, sometimes it disappears from sight, then reappears from underground to finally the goal.

   And the goal is often the ability to understand and accommodate weaknesses and frailties, our own and of the others. This  "empathic" ability can be practiced only because you have previously experienced first hand, as shown by the story of the most important biblical figures (Abraham, Moses, Jeremiah, Peter, Paul ...) and the lives of the saints.

   The crisis of the middle is claiming a return to self, an awareness of the fragility of our background, sometimes denied, or removed, or transferred to other things, such as success, activity, profession, apostolic, intellectual and emotional choices. This moment of stopping is itself healthy, is an invitation to truth and retrieve items previously rejected in our history and of our being; not for nothing,  personality of great type, indicated in psychology by the term narcissist, has more opportunity to benefit from an accompanying working and self-knowledge after 40 years of age, when the grandeur of our idols, as in the vision of Daniel (cf. 2.31 to 45), begins to crumble and set the pace.
   A powerful aid to crack the armor of self, accepting the message of the crisis, is the sense of humor.

   Contrary to a "serious and punished" sight of religious life, one can certainly argue that humor constitutes a valuable addition to a healthy and balanced life even from spiritual point of view, because it has a lot to do with the free, creative, intelligence, all necessary components for the relationship with God. It is not a coincidence that in the Bible there are close links with humor: think of the wisdom books, the story, the proverb, parable, result of creativity and intelligence, who observe the world with fun attitude, a little crazy, and yet extremely healthy in terms of inner balance and ability to live deep and true relationships. Humor can thus become a valuable ingredient for the spiritual journey, helping to bring about change, to improve, to better appreciate our lives.

   Scripture identifies different ways of "laughing", calling for a judgment on this point. The humor instructs/is in charge of first removing the majestic designs of the wicked, the serious dialectic of the proud, the pompous air full size of the Pharisee. Laughing, on the other hand, can also be an expression of malice, disrespect, of superficiality; it is the laughter of the fool, that clears everything with hurried mode, failing to take seriously the proclamation of faith.

In the Bible, however, is also another kind of humor,  affable and intelligent humor, that knows being at home also to the world and to God. This look "nice" to the life comes from the awareness of the contingency of things, expressed by amazement, that leads not to take for granted the existence of ourselves and of thr others. And the wonder is a fundamental feeling on the basis of humor, but also of wisdom, philosophy and religion: precisely because we are not God, we can look at the world with good nature, and recognize an Intelligence greater than ours, even greater than our fears.

   The sense of humor, at spiritual level,  can also become a call to repentance, to guard against the risk, always tragic, to be regarded as indispensable and too important to smile at what happens in life: it is no accident that the dictators always are lacking of sense of humor, with disastrous consequences, just because they are too full of themselves.
   Secondly, humor teaches us not to forget God, to let He working in our life and especially not to attempt  taking His place: as we know, this is the root of all sin, all evil (cf. Gen 3).

   The man often stands as a judge of the universe, as if he wanted to teach to God His profession, but doing so he gets only result of forgetting to do his own profession: when one attempts to fix the world no longer perceives the neighbor who needs us. God knows how to do His job and He doesn’t need that man explains Him: those who claim God's advisors do not enjoy high esteem in the Bible, thinking of the final evaluation given to the friends of Job (cf. 42,7- 9). The conversion, fruit of biblical humor, is to remember (ie to keep the heart) that man is not the teacher of God, but rather the opposite, and from this presumption the troubles are ariseing.

   Facing the reality with humor is not a way to ignore the problems and difficulties, it means learning not to dramatize, and this is essential condition to face and overcome them.

   The Bible calls on particularly the believer being able to laugh at himself, not to be afraid of hisr own weakness and misery, not to look better or worse than he is, to become free, free from judgment of others, by the vain pride, which so hurts and prevents to smile their pettiness, putting a straight jacket that prevents breathing. Humor is a sign of freedom and truth to oneself, because one is aware that his estimate is by an Other.

   This awareness comes mainly in the context of a loving relationship.
So friendship is also a fundamental dimension of maturity in faith, because it visibly shows the esteem and affection that God has for every man (cf. Sir 6.14 to 17). Friendship is, along with spousal love[2], the top person's emotional expression. It is a precious commodity for everyone, because it introduces into life the color of the relationships; it is also a way to experience the love of God, and with a possible enrichment and purification of one's being.

   Love, friendship, affection, as in other respects also the humor, there is always an element of humility and recognition of our long-term care, to live fully, which is the desired arrival point of the crisis: humility is required to recognize the need of affection for someone to live well.

   Friendship can certainly be experienced in ambivalent manner, like all human realities. The remedy to these ambiguities, however, does not consist in their elimination, as it would not be possible to eliminate the suffering to achieve a more stable and quiet life;  coldness, hatred and indifference, peculiar to those who loves no one, are much further away from evangelical ideal. To love has its risks, but this is the risk of being alive.

   The friendship, when it is lived by people seeking the Lord, can become a precious help for living the Gospel values, because there is not closure and isolation against the others, but instead it became a source of help for them too. It thus is  among its features to develop in interests and common activities, and this eventually "infect" other people. Those who have studied friendship in any particular component, he noted that it can not be exclusive, because it reveals an aspect of self and of the other, different for each friend; in this sense the richness of relationships helps to know ourselves, because the man is a relational being: you can know yourself only in relation to another whom we revealed to.

Sign of recognition

   Friendship is also fundamentally characterized by the no-possession: it can be lived only in the name of grautity, for this is a radical protest to a culture, as today's consumerism, driven by manipulation to meet our own needs; such relationships can not be framed in the logic of having.

   It is no an accident that the friendship constitutes for Jesus the sign of recognition of the disciple.

   More than doctrinal correctness or compliance with the precepts, Jesus was concerned, first, that the disciples love one another as He had loved them: this would be the most important announcement to give to the world (cf. Jn 13.14). Here is revealed the great difference, in effectiveness apostolic, among many utopian proposals and ideological of philosophical kind, political and social, and an environment permeated by this kind of friendship: "They are small circles of friends who turn their backs on the world , the ones that really turn it."

   These considerations reveal rich of applications in vocational field: rather than bothering to prepare complex analysis and programming, perhaps the first priority is to keep in mind that the first Christian communities are, first of all,  communities of friends in the Lord, where His love is made visible. This will not fail to bear fruit, because it shows in the real everyday the beauty of Christian life, a life worth living.

Giovanni Cucci sj
Psicologo e Scrittore de
La Civiltà Cattolica
Via di Porta Pinciana, 1 - 00187 Roma